It seems to always be in the late hours of the night that I feel compelled to spill my guts on this blog these days. Maybe it's because it's one of few times when I am without the distraction of little kids and can really just sit down and reflect on what has been happening in my life these days.

As a believer who has chosen to submit my life to Christ I know that for as long as I live I will always be a work in progress. I know that I am not perfect, and I never will be! Yet I still strive for perfection and will inevitably always be disappointed when I fall short. This life is filled with so many different challenges.

These past couple weeks I have been praying that God would fill my days with whatever he chooses. It has really been an amazing thing. People I haven't seen in years have called me up and asked to get together. The outcome of meeting with some of these wonderful women was truly humbling. Sometimes I can get so stuck on my struggles and desires that I just plain forget to focus on others. I get consumed in a world of self pity where it's all about me. Meeting with some of these women has opened my eyes to the fact that we live in a broken world where pain and dissatisfaction are thriving. Hearing some of their stories has been so challenging for me. I came home one day and I sat in a room absolutely broken hearted and wept before God. I serve the most loving and compassionate God, but the truth is just because we choose to follow him in no way guarantees that we will live an easy life. We can't separate ourselves from suffering. Our choice is how we're going to respond to it. Every believer will have to undergo trials, testing, suffering, pain, sorrow, abuse, reviling, ordeals, and persecution. Sometimes we bring suffering on ourselves because of our own sinful attitudes and behavior, and other times we are handed an awful hand of cards and we have to learn to roll with it. As Christians we were called to suffering (1 Peter 2:21) it is to remind us of the suffering and great sacrifice that God endured on our behalf. The truth, no matter how devastating it may be, is that God is always faithful. He knows what he's doing even when we don't.

In some of life's challenges all we can do is take it one day at a time, sometimes even minutes at a time. It may simply be waking up in the morning and choosing to cling to Christs promises. The truth is that God uses us in our weaknesses. He uses the weak to lead the strong and he allows us to be completely broken to remind us that we are worthless without him. We all have struggles and do things that grieve our heavenly father. No matter who we are able to hide our sin from we are naked before God and he sees everything, and he loves us anyway!