Just another random thought from the late night mind of Darci.

I know that am sometimes perceived as being a little eccentric. Not necessarily crazy but a little bit out of the norm. I may tend to say the silly thing (which in my head makes perfect sense, but in reality is way off). I dream big, always get these extravagant ideas about something. I play the entire thing out in my head down to every last detail, then when it comes time to put it all into action I get easily stressed and discouraged and then ultimately disappointed and convince myself that the whole thing as the stupidest idea in the first place. I look at things sometimes in a completely different point of view then most. I feel like I have these passions inside of me, these hopes and desires for myself, my family, my marriage and no one understands them but me. I feel people look at me with such disdain and it causes me to doubt everything I feel inside of me.

The other day I was thinking about that. Why would God give me all of these thoughts and feelings and then have them brushed off by others as just another crazy Darci moment. I try to justify myself to others in attempts that they may at least pretend to understand but when they don't I take it personally against myself.

 I was watching my sweet little Avery and all of a sudden I just got it. Avery is me, she it totally a little me. She is such an adorable and loving little space case. She is often running into walls and falling down. She will carry on a conversation with herself that only she can understand and then laugh. She looks at me and says the simplest little sentence about absolutely nothing but she does it with these eyes that are big and innocent filled with made up adventure. She is often off in her one little world, but I look at her and all I can see is this unique little girl full of wonder. I know that God has a special purpose for her, something that just not anyone could do. I was reminded that this indescribable love that I have for her is the same love that God has for me. I look at all of my girls and see these distinct things about them that make them special. These traits that I am so proud of and the thought of someone causing them to doubt them or themselves breaks my heart. It makes me want to constantly affirm and encourage growth in those areas. Thinking of my children in that way is what caused me to realize that that is exactly how my precious heavenly father views me. He watches me in heaven and he sees this stumbly and imaginative little girl and says oh Darci how I love your creativity and your zeal for life and parenthood. Please don't let my other children steal that away from you because it was my gift to you.

I encourage you to not feel pressured to conform into who you think you are supposed to be, but instead find joy in who you were created to be.